In Your Heart
by foreverseventeen11
Summary: This is a story told from Ally's viewpoint. It tells how her life is changing only a short time after Tyler's death. This is my first story, so I really hope you enjoy it.
1. Life After You

_It has been two months since he died. It felt like just yesterday I had heard the news... I didn't believe it. I couldn't. Reality has set in since. Sometimes I still wake up and think he's there, but I soon realize the ugly truth: Tyler was killed on September 11, 2001. He was taken from me, and it wasn't fair. I always somehow manage to restrain the hurt by telling myself that time will ease my pain. Everyday it's getting harder to tell myself that._

Ally was writing in her diary again. It was something Tyler had done, and it had rubbed off on her. It helped her feel better, too. It let her get out the emotions she couldn't bear to express to anyone else. Of course, her father had tried to get her to speak to a therapist, but it just wasn't that easy.

While going over the events of the past few months in her head, Ally was suddenly yanked from her thoughts by an overpowering wave of nausea. She rushed to the restroom of the café she had been sitting in, and vomited in one of the stalls. The ugly green tiling of the bathroom floor didn't do much to ease the intense pain she felt in her stomach. Once she was done, she quickly gathered up her things and left the café.

This wasn't the first time Ally had thrown up like this. She had vomited a few other times, like the other morning at her dad's house. Ally simply associated it with missing Tyler so much. It made sense to her. People get lovesick all the time. She just had a particularly bad case.

Once she arrived back home, Ally popped an anti-nausea pill and passed out on her bed. During her nap, she had a dream. She was with Tyler in his apartment. They were sitting around his kitchen table, laughing and smiling. Ally had had dreams like this before; her and Tyler being so happy together, so in love. This time was different. What she and Tyler were laughing and smiling at was what woke her with a start: a baby. When she had awaken, Ally rushed to the bathroom. Turns out it wasn't the strangeness of the dream that had woken her up. It was the nausea. After cleaning herself up once again, she decided the problem wasn't going to get any better. It was only going to get worse, and she could feel it.

"Dad, I think I might be sick." Ally said to her father, who was her closest friend ever since Tyler died. They had become closer than ever since that fateful day.

Her father replied with a sigh and a reassuring grin, " Well, looks like we need to get you in to see the doc. I'll try to get you the first appointment I can." He suddenly turned serious. "So what's the matter?"

"I've just felt really off lately. I'm pretty sure it's just a stomach bug, but I want to be completely sure." Ally said, hoping she could soon get some antibiotics and feel better in no time.

"Alright. I'll see if I can get you in to see Dr. Sanders, as soon as possible."

"Thanks, Dad. I appreciate it." She said as she headed back to her room. After she got some medicine and some rest, Ally was sure she'd be okay and get right back to normal.


	2. Surprise, Surprise

A week later, Ally was at the cemetery. She liked to do this about every other weekend, to preserve old memories. She felt as if talking to Tyler somehow lessened her hurt, although, it seemed to do her more bad than good. She needed to forget Tyler, and move on. According to recent events, however, that would prove to be rather difficult. Even though she knew it couldn't possibly change the course of what would come in the next few months, she decided talking to Tyler might help her forget her _other_ burdens, if you wanted to call them that.

This week, she had something very important to tell him about. She looked at the grey marble headstone, with all of the flowers and teddy bears and flashbacks to tears shed there, and recalled the events of the past few days. Ally felt as if she should have known. It was so obvious, wasn't it? But it couldn't have been. The only sign was the vomitting, the sickness. It should not have been this difficult to tell him. He wasn't even here in person. Her words strangled her, and she did not know what to do. She was alone. She needed Tyler more than ever. But she was simply on her own.

She thought to herself before speaking. _How am I supposed to say this... how can I put it?_

She began to talk. "I went to the doctor a couple of days ago. He said..." Ally's voice trailed off. Why couldn't she bring herself to say the words she so badly needed to say to him? "Well, I've been sick lately. You know that," She had told him about her recurring bouts of nausea. "And so I went to see Dr. Sanders. He didn't know what the problem was at first. In my head, I was picturing that maybe I had leukemia, or perhaps just a horrible stomach bug. I didn't really care. I almost wanted to die, to be able to be with you in anyway I could, and-" Her voice broke, and she began crying.

After a few minutes of uncontrollable, hiccupping sobs, Ally attempted to calm herself down. "I wanted to die. But saying that now… I feel selfish. You see, once I arrived at the clinic, Sanders ran some tests. He didn't have the results right away, so I went home. Before I came here, I had just gotten the call back from the doctor's office."

She took a pause, searching for words. "Tyler, I'm pregnant."

Once she had gotten the words out, she burst into tears.

_How am I going to do this alone?_


	3. At It Alone?

_It's been a week since I found out I was… pregnant. That's crazy. I never pictured myself having children… especially alone. Tyler… why did you leave me? When I needed you more than ever, you left, no goodbyes. How selfish of you, not even considering-_

_But why am I getting angry with Tyler? He isn't even here anymore. That's why I'm upset, right? Because I'm alone now. This baby won't know its father…_

Ally sat alone in her room, journaling and reflecting. She had done a lot of thinking lately. First of all, she decided to keep the baby. Her first reaction after telling Tyler was to abort the unborn child, but on her way to the clinic that day, she changed her mind suddenly. She thought, _This baby is my only true remembrance of him. Hell, it practically IS him._

Though for somewhat self-serving reasons, she chose to let her and Tyler's child grow inside of her. Plus, if people kill themselves both emotionally and financially all the time just to have kids, maybe raising children can't be so bad, right? It must be worth it, she figured. The next decision Ally had made was telling her dad. She knew _that _decision might have its consequences, but she knew she had to tell him before her stomach expanded beyond recognition and her water had broken. That was one scenario she'd like to avoid. She could imagine it, though.

"_Uh, Dad. Can I ask you a huge favor?"_

"_Sure, Al. What's up?" _

_Here, he turns to see me._

"_Ally…! What… What the hell?"_

"_I know, I know. I should have told you months ago, but I was scared you'd be upset…"_

"_Well I sure am upset now!"_

"_Well, I think the baby's coming…"_

Before it got too ugly, Ally snapped out of the daydream. Well, it was more comparable to a nightmare. So the next day after deciding to keep the baby, she worked up the nerve to tell her father. She sat him down at the little table in the kitchen and began.

"Dad, I have some very… important… news to share with you. Except, before I tell you, please don't get mad. It really was my own fault." Ally could see a mix of suspicion and rising anger on his face. _What have I gotten myself into?_

"Fine, what is it? Am I gonna be pissed?"

"Um, yes. Maybe. Kind of." That was all she could think to reply. Her dad just shook his head.

"Out with it, Ally." She took a deep breath and exhaled.

"I'm pregnant, with Tyler's baby." Any tension that was in the room before melted, while at the same time a different kind of tension built. She saw her father's face lose all emotion, and then quickly turn into rage.

"What you're telling me is that that guy _knocked you up_ and then died? What kind of jack-" He cut off abruptly, mid-word, and saw Ally with tears streaming down her cheeks. "Ally, I'm sorry, it's just… I know it isn't his fault he's gone, but this came as such a shock to me. I wasn't prepared at all." Ally sniffed and wiped her eyes.

"It's all right, I guess. I was pretty frank. But I promise I'll take care of everything. I'll pay for all the diapers, food, baby furniture. You won't have to do anything but be a good granddad." A small smile came onto Ally's face.

"Well, you know I'll try, but I don't approve of you paying for _everything _by yourself. Raising kids is expensive, particularly these days. So, I'll help you out with the money. You need to relax, anyway. I think our medical insurance covers obstetrician visits…"

"Thanks so much, Dad. For the money and being supportive. I really needed that right now."

Another thing she needed right now was her mom.


End file.
